Tonic Femininity Part 3

Be Undeniable

We are rucking together at the bottom of a vast magnetically charged canyon. But today we are not in the form we normally take as regular human companions on a trip. Today our form is that of budding consciousness, and we are trying to see the place we now traverse with more clarity. We move, utterly miniaturized by our surroundings. We assess the enormity of the canyon walls we want to climb to reach an informative vantage point. There is a light up there, and we want to go to it; that place seems to mean something.

We scramble, attempting our first ascent toward the light, but the walls are steep and equal charges from above and from underfoot seem to have great influence on us. We nearly succumb to the impression of impossibility our great trek upward gives. But at last, we spot a ridge which seems attainable. To get there, we must first chart a way through a river with symmetrical and borderless rivulets circulating upon its surface. We fashion a comical raft out of seemingly organic sheet material we locate. It’ll do, we think. And we set on our way toward the most forgiving looking point of entry into the river.

We set out on our raft, but we do not move as we anticipated we would. Instead, the canyon pulses all around us and several immense boulders emerge from out of the river obstructing our way forward. We believe now that we must confront each of these blockages to reach our objective where we can begin our ascent to the light. Though we do not yet know our precise strategy for evading the blockage enforced by these boulders, we do at least know what each of them represents, for they are some aspects of ourselves, aspects of consciousness. They are: illusion, delusion, rationality, and spirituality.

We realize we must propel ourselves across the river somehow. We reach into our rucks and from them we pull large spools of cable cord. We cut a piece and construct a tether to toss at the first boulder. The cord attaches, a powerful reaction takes place, we sense a strong vibration, and we begin approaching illusion at rapid speed. Quickly, going off of instinct alone, we toss another cord into the deep recesses of the water in the desperate hope it will anchor us to the bottom. The cord is yanked downward by some unseen force to which we seem inextricably bound. Our anchor does not immobilize us, rather we sense that it is exerting energy through us to provide a satisfying tension to our other cable. This tension slows our motion so we do not slam into illusion. We gradually make our way to inspect the boulder, and to find a course around it. As we move, we feel the energy of our grounding tether also flowing from deep below us to the farthest reaches above, near the light we are pursuing. When we arrive at our first boulder, we turn to check if chance will allow a way to return to our starting point, but we see only an impenetrable void behind us.

Illusion

Indeed it does seem like we could go back to the 1950’s. Why shouldn’t this be attainable? It wasn’t so long ago, after all. There are people alive today who were teenagers then, and they often describe an admirable time and place. This is a time when beef tallow was used to fry potatoes instead of canola oil, milkshakes were so thick you could pull a muscle in your face trying to suck them through straws, when slim women and men took pride in their trim waists and dressed elegantly in the popular fashions of their corresponding sex, when it did not matter what deficit you were born with because hard work and determination would defeat it absolutely.

Sounds fantastic. So, why shouldn’t we attempt to return to the past?

But this is a false question. The question is not why we shouldn’t attempt to go back to this time, for the answers we find in response will only fasten our binds to the fallacy at hand. The question to ask is what is the past? Only then can we see through the illusion that there is any going back to it.

Mark Bisone of the Tonic Seven has given his readers an insightful take on the illusion of history. He explains, emphasis mine:

We don’t like to think of [history] that way. We like to draw hard lines between fact and fiction, real and imaginary. We convince ourselves that a thing must have happened a particular way, at a particular date and time, even though we weren’t there to observe and interpret it. We often take the immanence of a historical record for granted, even when discussing events that predate our own physical existence by thousands of years.

Depending on the source, presentation, our own preferences/biases and other factors, the details of the historical tale will be customized (and so will the movies we make about them). But for the most part, we think we can untangle truth from falsehood, document from myth. We even believe we’re born with the tools to do this properly, which is where most of the problems start.

Mark goes on to make the case that a more sensible way to approach our considerations of the past is to first acknowledge it for the mystery that it is. Then, we can begin to thoughtfully question all mediums that purport to contribute to our understanding of the events of the past.

Without giving due diligence to this process, the narratives we construct about the past become bad explanations. That is to say, they are easy-to-vary,¹ and they prop up the false notion that in the the attempt to account for historical truth, all transactions we humans have made between ourselves and our environment have been perfectly balanced and can be referenced with guaranteed accuracy.

Every event of the past has its necessary preceding components numbering in the trillions and far beyond. Without each of these in its place, the structure of what we perceive as meaningfully depicted points in time turns out to be an illusive lore with a multitude of versions, albeit some possessing more credibility than others. This lore is written by motivated actors who each have their own incentive for doing so - some earnestly attempting to unfold a mystery, others attempting to achieve political gain by exploiting history’s greatest vulnerability: the vast expanse of time to which the laws of our universe subject it.

History is not a point in time to which we can return. It is a mystery worthy of much dedicated exploring. This mystery reveals many salient things to us, but not all. What we can discern through our inquisitive examination of it can provide valuable insight into the virtues which guided those whose stories we admire the most. We may then apply what we learn from these stories to our own lives in support of our own purpose, but we can never live in them for they are not a place but a retelling.

For tonic women pursuing virtue in their own lives, asking how the women in these stories participated within the networks of their families to work with their natures to flourish both in what biology compelled of them and what they chose to do beyond this baseline will establish a helpful guide. But since we cannot return to the time in which these stories took place and reenact them as ourselves, we must ask how we can apply the wisdom we glean from the past to the endeavor of taking virtuous action in the post-industrial present. To do this, we must understand our natures and our motivations so that we can keep delusion at bay.

As our raft approaches the boulder of illusion there is a shift in the sensation of our cable. Its tension increases dramatically and we are able to push against it and steer ourselves around illusion. We say goodbye and release our grip on our first cable as we cut another and attach it to the next boulder along our trajectory.

Delusion

By comparison to the illusion that we can return to the past, there is a distinctive delusion that we can know with abject certainty where our actions will take us. Unlike the Illusion of a return to the past, this delusion is mostly preoccupied with the future and is fueled by hubris. The relevant result of this manifests as what Feminism Against Progress author Mary Harrington dubbed progress theology. Charles Haywood explains, emphasis mine:

[progress theory is] “the idea that mankind is progressing, through the adoption of principles of emancipation and egalitarianism, to an Omega Point of perfection.”

In modern times, it seems that women, whose natures are intertwined with a survival strategy that fosters an egalitarian mindset, are particularly prone to becoming attendants of the idea that the march toward total equality of outcomes is worth any price. This tendency is totally understandable. It is the result of unsupervised motivated reasoning responding to perverse environmental incentives. The modern cultural zeitgeist presents a toxic path to success to women on a silver platter: Pretend like your nature doesn’t exist while also using it to attain maximal material advantage. The feminine nature combined with this environment is practically a contract for the acquisition of female hearts and minds, signed under the toxic influence of ignorance to ourselves.

To deeply understand ourselves and our nature, and to pursue excellence in accordance with our most cherished convictions, we must be ever vigilant for motivated reasoning. This is the path revealed to us by the obstacle of delusion. We must develop confidence in our ability to detect delusion so we can then move on to our practice of being undeniable in a way that is both externally/rationally and internally/spiritually verifiable.

Delusion walks hand-in-hand with the unconstrained view of the world². It filters one’s base desires through the fine mesh of unchecked judgement. What comes out the other side is a slimy mixture of subjective preferences hiding behind narratives that claim to possess knowledge of the future. The slime coats your eyes as you pass through life. It corrupts your neocortex. Eventually it enters into your bloodstream, it dulls your senses entirely until you can no longer accurately detect whether you are being drawn to the power of good or evil.

Delusion is believing what suits your interests regardless of truth that reveals itself when your base instincts are held up to the light of scrutiny. It is embracing consequentialism in the name of getting what you want, all the while going on convinced that entanglements with vice today will produce virtuous results tomorrow.

Who can blame you for making the pragmatic decision to sacrifice your unborn child in the name of female progress? The fact that this decision will allow you to stay on your current career path is irrelevant.

You have doubts about the safety and efficacy of this product, but you tell your husband to man-up and consume it because it’s irresponsible to the wellbeing of the vulnerable population not to. This has nothing to do with the fact that you’re worried he will not be able to secure a retirement through his current job if he doesn’t comply.

You are constantly throwing subtle digs at one of your best friends in front of her fiancé, but only because you think it’s funny. It has nothing to do with your sexual attraction to the man.

You have every reason to despise religious people. They all neglect to see the world scientifically and the solution to their lamentable presence on this earth is to revoke their right to gun ownership. You’re not sure how, but the view that the use of force in this instance is just is empirically falsifiable and not religious whatsoever.

In order to examine for motivated reasoning, you must ask why you are doing something, because the answer will directly influence how you do it.

Grant Smith of the Tonic Seven has written an article discussing the intersection between the indifferent unfairness of nature and the human potential for fairness. The relevant application to women in the ongoing exploration of tonic femininity is to monitor each component of the female competition style (safe, subtle, solitary) we engage with by asking why we are doing so and having the epistemic humility to admit that our answers won’t always be right. As an extension of this, we must have the humility to admit when our speculations about how to best leverage our nature in support of virtue turn out to be practically incorrect. We must have the courage to make the appropriate adaptations in response to such findings.

Just as before, the tension on our cables increases and we wave goodbye to delusion as we gently push ourselves away from this obstacle and toward the next. The boulder of rationality rumbles as we approach.

Interlude: Be Undeniable

Tonic femininity is not about opting out of competition with women altogether, nor is it about carefully crafting a facade of cooperation hiding currents of animus and resentment from view. The tonic expression of femininity does not depend on defining and attempting to live by the opposite of our nature. It is not about rejecting the reality of highly specialized mechanisms which have aided our survival - after all, our ability to keep our children alive was hard won!

We can’t get lost in the attempt to ignore our nature because we are jealous of the brotherhood of men or because we wish the need to compete could be expunged from our species completely. To do so entails displacing protection with neglect, desire with asexuality, and purpose with apathy. It completely overlooks an opportunity to play to the strengths given to us by nature.

So, with everything we have explored so far in mind, how can we work with our nature rather than against it as we pursue meaning, virtue, and plenty?

I’ve asked myself this question many times since learning about tonic masculinity, and find it hilarious that one of the first things that springs to mind comes from a most unlikely source: Bill Burr. Yep, that Bill Burr, everyone’s favorite redheaded comedian. He was once asked by one of those aspiring Hollywood reporter types whether he thinks women can be funny. He shrugged the question off, “Of course,” he said, followed by many dirty words, as is his custom. Within those words was something I found remarkably insightful, though, and it made a lasting impression on me. He said, essentially, “be undeniable.”

With respect to our exploration here, the obvious application for women who necessarily compete with one another is to take purposeful action toward situating themselves on the hierarchy of reputation and status based on undeniable reality. This is a positive sum game women can play to avoid subverting the reputation of one another by departing from truth through such toxic means as defaming others or elevating oneself based on lies, but we can take it just a little further…

We have rested and feel ready to proceed, but something strange occurs. There are two boulders behind us now, and two ahead. We are approaching the center of the river. The light we are moving towards seems brighter. It captivates us as it extends further into the reaches of the canyon, beaming toward us. Is it possible that the light will pull us up? We extend our hands to accept the tail it extends to us, but when we do, we lose our grip on our cables.

Our raft spirals into chaos here in the center of the river where the current flows differently than before. Our spools are flung off the raft by centripetal force and fall out of reach into the river. We are disoriented, and we see the same point in the distance disappear and reappear repetitively. Until we recognize the axis of rotation for what it is, we can do nothing to escape from it - we are paralyzed in a perpetual spin. Underneath us is a whirlpool of paradox, swirling and sucking our raft into its center. We see the problem keeping us from purposefully moving forward: Consequentialism has all of the trappings of rationality, but this is another illusion. We can only give it the vanquishing it deserves though rationality. This must be reconciled before we can ascend to the light.

Be Undeniable - A Rational Approach

Be undeniable. Such an elegant idea that pierces right through the noise generated by one-dimensional notes on topics like men vs. women, women vs. women, fixed mindsets manifesting as perpetual victimhood, and the groaning of the “Yas, queen” crowd to a tune whose lyrics are in harsh conflict with the fundamental rhythm of the song they mean to sing.

To be undeniable, we cannot become paralyzed by the tense relationship between rationality and consequentialism any more than we can deny our natures in any meaningful sense. Before we can set out to reject consequentialism, we first accept that the rationality which leads us there if we keep our materialist motivations unchecked is in our nature. But if we fail to recognize the benefits of rationality and create a nexus between it and our ultimate destination, we cannot efficiently probe for and detect when our base nature is tugging us towards vice.

Consequentialism is wrong because it asserts that the outcome of our actions is the ultimate test for the righteousness or wrongfulness of our conduct. It claims that “good” conduct is that which will produce a positive outcome. But as we have already established, believing we can predict the future is a delusion supported by motivated rationalization. But rationalization is not the enemy. We take rational action daily based on our subjective values in support of what we believe will accomplish our purpose. We are driven to do so because of our innate need for such a purpose. We must take action despite concerns it will result in our development of a materialist metric for spiritual and virtuous success because material needs must be met in order to survive and develop resilience to the omnipresent threats that await us in the uncertain future.

As the science of praxeology³ informs us, we are rational actors. Even if we wished to do it, allowing ourselves to be permanently fixed by the notion that all of the actions we take are merely speculative with respect to achieving our purpose would prove impossible. At some point, the nature of being alive compels action. The form this action will take will be determined by our motivations whether we are aware of them or not. Thus, we must understand our motivations with clarity to stand any chance of resisting illusion and thwarting delusion and hypocrisy as we move on our trajectory towards our ultimate purpose. This in itself is rational action.

This journey will eventually become the destination. But as we will see momentarily, it is our chosen destination which dictates the choices we make on our path to the point we are ultimately approaching.

A rational approach to tonic femininity involves empirically validating the status you acquire using virtue as your metric for success. Do you want recognition for your excellence? Attempting to intimidate others into acknowledging you simply proves that you don’t deserve it. Instead, be undeniable and the recognition will follow. Want to be admired and praised? You needn’t sell unfounded narratives about yourself or your work to others. You don’t need to accuse others of what you are guilty of. Be undeniable and eventually your admirers will make themselves heard. Are you not meeting with success despite your best effort? Here’s a few options: keep trying and never give up, branch out and create something entirely your own and let it compete with alternatives organically, or perhaps gracefully accept what is not meant for you and move on to the next thing.

Want to stand out from women who demand that you blend in with them in a pool of mediocrity? You don’t have to humble brag and virtue signal until the cows come home. Be undeniable.

In the world of soft indirect competition, reputation means everything. Unfortunately, no one can control the mouth of a vicious woman but herself. Tonic men and women may hope to be a positive influence on her, but control is not in their arsenal. And vicious women by definition make vicious choices targeting the demoralization of their competition. And so, what better way for a virtuous woman to succeed in such an environment than to turn the tables in her favor by ensuring that she behaves so virtuously that any attacks on her reputation by others will result in a default downgrade of the attacker’s reputation? Be a Sun Tzu of soft competition. Let your enemy eat themselves alive without so much as reaching for a blade yourself.

It does not suit the virtuous woman to ruminate over what brews in the cauldrons of cackling crones singing, “double, double toil and trouble.” That’s their business, and it is wrought with poor investment sense. They will inevitably fail to turn a profit peddling their catty rumors, jealousy, piteous excuses for mediocrity, and snobbery. There is no shortage of classless women who casually demean others to prop themselves up. It is all too easy to mistake good fortune for virtue, then parlay that mistake into a baseless sense of superiority. While behavior like this will always rankle, it is up to the truly virtuous woman to take it in stride. All you need to concern yourself with to have a charmed life nourished by tonic wholesomeness is being undeniable in your practice of virtue by contrast.

We must take purposeful action in pursuit of material gains which will facilitate the resilience required to face the ever present temptation toward vice. We must reason through why we are taking action, and we must act.

But what I’ve said above merely represents my speculations on how to combine my understanding of females through the lens of evolutionary psychology with rational actions with other women that are likely to produce a virtuous sensibility in me. I’m sorry to say, but you cannot accept this as your own without first ensuring it passes the scrutiny of your own honest introspection. I do not have answers. I am speculating, just as we all must.

We accept that rational action is required to support the rejection of consequentialism and our raft is propelled out of the spinning vortex. We are sent on a trajectory traveling away from the rationality boulder and toward the spirituality boulder. As we glide across the surface of the river, it becomes clear that our path will orbit the final obstacle. Indeed through the realization that the spear of rationality cuts two ways, we complete our circle around the boulder of spirituality and finally begin our ascent along the canyon wall to the light above us, for we now see the way there is a path which supersedes all concern for material gain through the advancement of our reputation with others.

Be Undeniable - A Spiritual Approach

I spoke earlier about the importance of knowing why you are doing something because this will effect how you do it. And it is important to expand on this now.

Why you are behaving virtuously is because you are virtuous. Christians call this living in the spirit. Yoda says, “do or do not, there is no try.” James O'Keefe refers to having a choice-less choice to do the right thing. Uncle Iroh alludes to a transformation that must take place for Zuko to confront the struggle with good and evil which is in his nature, his legacy. The path is the destination, and from this vantage point, the choices you make everyday to keep tension between yourself and vicious temptation build appreciation for the overarching idea that what you perceive as choice is really the force of virtue exerting itself on your life.

Acknowledging this delivers you from mulling over the minutia of how to proceed in your daily interactions with others, because you have already determined the why. Rationally you have chosen the path and you walk it, one deliberate step at a time. You get enough sleep, you exercise, you eat a proper diet, you socialize, you spend adequate time in sunlight touching grass, and you act purposefully toward your desired end. You do this to facilitate the resilience required to sustain the stamina and strength needed to maintain stark awareness of the reality of your nature. But because you have already chosen your destination, you also become it. Your life exudes the spirit of virtue, and the evidence of your destination is abundant within your life. Journey becomes destination as you apply your resilience to purposeful action. Conversely, your chosen destination dictates the path. There is no more mulling over what to do, no indecision founded in material concerns for the consequences of doing the right thing. It is decided. It is inextricably linked with your choice to die a tonic woman.

Our ultimate accountability is to ourselves, our conscience. It is not to egalitarian referees or longhouse wardens, but to the sanctity of our own hearts; the sacred tranquility residing deep within us which no one can violate. We ultimately return to the condition of the unknown through the condition of the familiar. The only way through the suffering of this world and into the serenity of the next is through the gateway of virtue.

My friend, we reach the top of the canyon wall. We find a refreshment here and share it in celebration; I bet you can guess the name we give to it. Our exhaustion gives way to exhilaration, and we suddenly share the sensation that we are floating, though we still feel the magnetism all around us. We breathe in and scan our whereabouts. We are rewarded with a beatific sight: We see clearly now that our canyon is in the unmistakable earthly shape of a woman. She is narrow and she is wide. Her form is lovely and curvaceous, and in the details she is composed of a symphony of soft, subtle shades in perfect harmony with the striking tones that signify sudden change, intuitive adaptation, and steady resolve. Her unimaginably old layers of solid earth give rise to infinite new layers of supple vitality. Of all of her magnificent features, it is perhaps her enduring power to cultivate and nurture life which most greatly inspires hope. We look for the light that guided us here only to realize that we are no longer separate from its source. We begin to understand as if reborn inside the luminous beam cast by a prism: we are the light.

Thanks for rucking with me. Please enjoy the music as you exit.

1. David Deutsch’s explanation on what distinguishes a good explanation from a bad explanation has proven highly valuable to me and can be viewed here: https://www.ted.com/talks/david_deutsch_a_new_way_to_explain_explanation

2. Thomas Sowell’s Conflict of Visions: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Conflict_of_Visions

3. https://mises.org/library/praxeology-methodology-austrian-economics